Commitment after grief

For years, I couldn’t plan long term.

Not because I didn’t want to. But because somewhere deep in my body, I didn’t trust time.

When your child is sick-when every day might be the last-you don’t dream in decades. You live in moments. You prepare for loss while doing everything in your power to create life. That was my reality with Benjamin. I couldn’t afford to make long-term commitments. Everything was built on a short leash, even if I didn’t fully see it at the time.

And then something shifted.

It didn’t happen all at once. It came quietly. While walking in Turkey. While listening to the undercurrent that had no words yet. I kept feeling off. My chest tight. A deep internal dialogue I couldn’t name. Until I finally did.

I’m no longer living like he might die tomorrow.

That realization cracked something open. The grief wasn’t gone-but my relationship to it had changed. And with that change came space. Spaciousness. Possibility. And with that possibility: the capacity to commit.

That’s when the 10-year vision arrived. Not as a strategy, but as a felt sense of yes.

Yes-I want to build something that lasts.

Yes-I can anchor into something that extends beyond the immediate.

Yes-I’m ready to live as though there is time.

This shift wasn’t about business. It was about trust. Trust in life again. Trust in my own future. Trust that I can build and expand without bracing for the collapse.

So if you find yourself holding back, still living in micro-moments even though life has opened up-ask yourself:

Am I still living in protection mode, even though the danger has passed?

Because the moment you realize you’re allowed to commit, something extraordinary happens:

You stop surviving your life.

And start designing it.

Love,
Rita

PS: If you sense you’re still living in protection mode, bring it into a private conversation with me here.  Naming it is often the first step to trust again.

PSS: Want to master how to influence and shape outcomes that matter? We start again 20 October.

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