The influence no one teaches you - and why it’s time we did

Influence isn’t something I studied in a textbook.

It’s something I lived- in hospital rooms fighting for my son’s life, in high-stakes spaces where  decisions take shape, and in quiet conversations where impossible outcomes quietly began to shift.

Over the years, I’ve come to see that true influence doesn’t come from titles, tactics, or being the loudest voice in the room. It comes from five simple - but rarely taught- principles. And they’re not theory. They’re the foundation of how I saved my son, built global networks, and now help high-impact women navigate the impossible.

Here’s what influence really looks like when the stakes are high:

1. Clarity of Why

Influence starts when you refuse to accept “impossible”

When my son Benjamin was an infant, fighting a life-threatening Clostridium infection, I had no medical degree, no formal power. But I did have conviction. I saw a tiny article about an experimental treatment using fecal matter—unorthodox, untested, and certainly not on the hospital’s protocol. But I knew, deep down, this was the door to his survival. I spoke up. I challenged the experts. And because I did, he lived.

Influence starts when you are so clear on what matters that you cannot stay silent.

2. Relationship-First

Influence happens human to human

I didn’t demand the doctors listen. I built trust. I asked them to consult a professor. It was the relationship, not the argument, that opened the door. The same applies in leadership. Whether it’s corporate boards or global stakeholders—real influence is relational, not positional.

3. Challenge with Conviction

 Influence requires discomfort

It would’ve been easier to stay quiet, to avoid the risk of looking foolish. But influence isn’t comfortable. It means saying what others won’t. I teach women to challenge outdated thinking- not with aggression, but with grounded, unshakeable clarity.

4. Anchor in Vision

 Influence is a long game

Benjamin’s survival wasn’t the end. His diagnosis with Hurler Syndrome showed me influence isn’t a one-time win- it’s the quiet, strategic work of steering towards a future others may not yet believe in. That’s how I help women leaders today-keeping their long-term vision steady, even when today feels overwhelming.

5. Embodied Presence

Influence is how you show up

Before a word leaves your mouth, your presence speaks. I’ve sat in rooms where my title didn’t carry weight- but my grounded presence did. Influence lives in your energy, your posture, your ability to hold the room. It’s the piece few talk about, but the one that changes everything.

A new era of influence : The Shestainability Program

For years, I’ve quietly guided women through these principles behind closed doors- in executive coaching sessions, private intensives, and global boardrooms.

In September, for the first time, Shestainability will launch a unique training program dedicated to one thing: teaching high-impact women how to influence in a way that is authentic, embodied, and impossible to ignore.

This isn’t corporate fluff or performative leadership workshops. It’s the real, lived influence that women need to navigate complex systems, challenge outdated thinking, and bring their boldest ideas to life.

The training will be by Vorian and myself.

Because your mission is too important to be diluted. And the world cannot afford for your influence to stay quiet.

Applications for the September cohort will open soon.

If this speaks to you, or if you already know influence is your next edge- send me a note. Let’s have the conversation.

Because influence isn’t given. It’s created. One clear, courageous voice at a time

Love,

Rita

Ps. If you’re ready for a steadier, deeper way of leading, I offer private 1:1 thinking partnerships for leaders building what matters most. When you’re ready, the space is here. If it feels like the right time, message me and we’ll have a quiet conversation. 

Pss. Join the wait list for Lumina Conexus Mastermind 

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