How do I stay in this work without it taking more out of me than it should?

This question usually comes from clients who are deeply involved in what they’re doing, clients who care about the consequences of their decisions and the people affected by them, which is often why it feels difficult to even name it, because caring and commitment have been tied together for a long time.

This isn’t really a question about capacity. You’re not wondering whether you can keep going. The work is still important, but it’s starting to feel heavy.

Things don’t stop when they should. You decide something, but it keeps running in you. You keep thinking about it, checking it, carrying it, even after it’s done. Over time, you start holding the work personally instead of letting it stay where it belongs.

And when that happens, it doesn’t just cost energy. It begins to shape how you see, decide, and respond.

That’s why the question I’m interested in staying with is this.

What are you carrying that actually belongs in the work, not in you?

Because there are parts of the work that belong with a role, a decision, a structure, or a conversation. When those parts don’t have a clear place to land, they tend to end up with the person doing the work.

Staying in this work without it taking too much out of you starts there. By noticing what you’re still carrying after something should be finished. By letting decisions land and then leave you. By allowing responsibility to sit where it belongs, rather than absorbing it by default.

When something is properly dealt with, it stops staying with you, and you have more space for what actually needs your attention.

That’s how you stay in this work without it costing you more than it should.

Warmly,

Rita

This is part of my Ask Me Anything series, where I respond to real questions that come up in my work.